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The Anxious Blogger

Hello my lovelies,

I hope you are all well. I cannot believe we are now in February. The year is whizzing by already. As you know I started this year with great plans to do new things. I am doing those, in fact on Sunday I did something huge. I went to a blogger event.

I went alone, walked in the door with shaky hands and sat down with over 100 people around me who I had never met before. I nearly didn't go. I hadn't slept great and had been exhausted from a few nights of little to no sleep. My blood pressure was high, my stomach was acting up. I had plenty of excuses and reasons not to go. Then struggled getting a taxi and uber. So many things were telling me not to go. Just get back in to bed and hide, and try again next time.

Standing there with my coat and bag as the fona cab app finally had a taxi my heart nearly jumped out of my skin, if i clicked accept then I really had to go. I had to tell myself that if I didn't go I would have been depriving someone else of the chance to have gone. It would have been wrong to do that. So I did it I booked the taxi and paced the floor while I waited.

When I got there I was looking at all these ladies going in all excited and chatting away together, I nearly kept walking. My hands were shaking, my skin was clammy and I was so aware of being alone and knowing nobody. Something happened though as I walked through the door and joined the line, I started realising that yes I had never met these ladies in person, but I had chatted online and watched their journeys and that at one stage they were the new girl walking in to a room of unknown as well. So I walked up to a table of girls I recognised and said hi I am Lyndsey, I know your faces so I am just going to sit down here and chat. Within a few minutes we were all chatting away and it was so lovely.

Cathy Martin who runs, among other things, the NI Blogger Brunch was so nice, she engaged the whole room when she talked and it made it feel really emersive. I was listening so intently to the people speaking I began to forget just how nervous I had been. Although when I saw my High School English teacher walk in I thought I would pass out. Normally I would have simply tried to avoid even saying hello, but as I was trying to be bold and push myself out of my comfort zone, I went over and introduced myself, I don't know if it is a good thing that once I said my name she remembered me ha ha. We chatted and I even gave her a hug when I left, something I would never have dreamt of doing. Not to be cringey, but she was actually my favourite teacher, I guess the fact that nearly 20 years on my hobby is blogging which of course is writing. I hope that gave her some sort of sense of achievement that even though I wasn't the most academic teenager, I did ok in exams and still using her teaching all these years later. Though I do hope she never reads this. I can imagine the print out with red marks all over it where I have made mistakes. Maybe that should make me want to double and triple check my work. Write every blog as though my teacher is marking it. ha ha.. Ok so I got sidetracked right there, back to the event.

So many great girls opened up about anxiety and talking about their story, which made me feel much better. It reminded me that I am not alone, that there were other people in that room that new exactly what I was going through. I am so glad I went, even though my blood pressure went through the roof, I could hardly speak without shaking and thought I was going to throw up repeatedly. I promised myself this year I would try to do things that I wouldn't normally do, and this was one of the first things on my list.

With all that being said, after meeting so many new people, and getting to chat in person to people i've followed on line for a while I am feeling recharged, excited and absolutely buzzing to get blogging more and get involved in the community more.

I have so much to share and cannot wait to share it all with you.

Thank you for taking the time to read. Please remember if you are suffering anxiety that you are not alone.

Love and hugs,

Lyndsey

www.instagram.com/lyndseysworld



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